Tag Archives: speakerphone asshole

All in a Huff

4 Nov

When I coined the moniker for “Speakerphone Asshole,” I didn’t realize how accurate the Asshole part of it was. The man is the biggest douche I have come across in a long time. He’s made it clear several times that unless you have a penis, he doesn’t want to hear your opinion.

Luckily, my job doesn’t require much interaction with SA, but when it does, it takes all of my restraint to keep from telling him off.

Not long ago, he asked me to retrieve some information that was found on an Excel file that was sitting on a server he didn’t have access to. Fine, no big deal. I told him I’d download the file and e-mail it to him. “No, that’s not necessary, just send me the information I need,” he said explaining what data he was looking for. I let Larry (my boss) know about the request and while he wasn’t thrilled about it, he figured it would only take a few minutes and that would be that.

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Verbal Diarrhea

17 Apr

I have this ‘condition’ of sorts. A friend once coined it “verbal diarrhea” – the ability to just let shit flow out of my mouth without being able to stop it. The other day, I had a pretty funny occurrence of the VD verbal diarrhea.

The scene:

I was sitting at my desk at work, Natalie was sitting in the cubicle next to mine and Speakerphone Asshole and John (my boss’ boss) were standing nearby talking. Speakerphone Asshole and John had just come back from a webinar on social media, a discussion of things like Twitter and Facebook.

SA: I want to join Facebook too!
John: I think everyone wants to join now.
SA: And Twitter, let’s all join so that I can Tweet you.
John: [something inaudible]
SA: We can become Twits!
Me [unable to stop myself]: Become?

Natalie immediately burst out laughing and didn’t stop for a few minutes. I’m pretty sure Speakerphone Asshole heard me as he was well within earshot. He didn’t acknowledge it though.

I do try to keep the condition in check, but that opportunity to zing Speakerphone Asshole was just too good to pass up.

Office Recap

12 Nov

I thought I’d take a break from all of the prop 8 stuff and let my blood pressure settle down a bit. Plus, I know my readers are just itching to know how things are going at work. So I’ll be nice and update you.

Things at work have definitely picked up since I last bitched and moaned about how quiet it was. It seems like once the summer wound down, people were back at the office and projects were once again in motion. I am happy to report that my days of late have been pretty busy and I don’t spend nearly as much time perusing the interwebs.

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Dear…

5 Jun

Dear Speakerphone Asshole,

I’d like to take a minute to point out to you that the ipod and portable speakers you were admiring yesterday on my male colleague’s desk actually belong to me. I’m sure that in the 6 months we’ve been sitting close to each other, you’ve noticed said ipod and speakers on my desk. So I’m left wondering why you waited until they were in possession of a male to ask about them. Did you think my wittle girly brain wouldn’t be able to explain to you how to add songs to an ipod and have them play through the speakers? Is it because I don’t have a penis that you wouldn’t let me set you up with our department’s default printer, instead asking yet another male to do so? The next time I overhear you ask where something plugs into, I’ll gladly let you know where you can stick it.

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The Swing Space

2 Mar

The Mrs. and I are heading out for a Sunday Stroll. I figured while she was getting ready, I’d do a quick little update on this little blog o’ mine.

Work is going well, but there are some folks there who are seriously getting on my nerves. I know what you’re thinking, I’m no longer in the honeymoon phase of the new job and will have hateful posts on here in no time. Rest assured, that’s not what this is. When I first started, our section of the department was scattered on the seventh floor of the building. We were in the process of moving and as a result, I had a temporary work station which was located in a corner office which was away from the other managers, principals and coordinators. Needless to say, other then my ipod playing in my speakers, it was a relatively quiet work space.

In January, we moved to another floor – the “swing space” everyone will occupy while construction on their floor is being done. We’re expected to be able to move to our new, permanent home on the third floor at the end of May. Anyway, on this new floor, we’re all seated together, with smaller desks and lower cubicle walls. There is absolutely no privacy and you can hear everything that everyone is saying because it’s such an open space. My job doesn’t involve a lot of talking on the phone, but everyone else’s job certainly does. Their being on the phone isn’t so bad; it’s the yelling across the room to each other that’s annoying. Then there’s the principal who’s office I sit beside who insists on making all of his calls while on speaker phone. I mentioned this to S and she said the first sign that someone is an asshole is that they talk a lot using speaker phone. I hadn’t really thought about this particular principal like that until she pointed that out. But now that I think about it, he is a very fickle man, often pouting when something doesn’t quite go as he expected. The other day, I couldn’t take it anymore. I walked into my boss’ office and asked him, “When we’re down on the third floor, how close will we be sitting to S?” He smirked, knowing full well what I was referring to. “Not very close,” he said, smiling.

There’s the one coordinator, who uses the word “Dude” in every sentence. She also happens to be the most opinionated person I’ve ever met. All day long I have to hear her views on HD TV’s, the reason Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have so many kids, why the price of gas is so high and every other imaginable topic. She’s an expert on everything, dude.

And then there’s the new girl who sits in the cubicle next to mine, she’s the typical event coordinator; perky as hell and always “on”. (I just want to punch her in the head sometimes.) She’ll stand up and yell across to one of our co-workers, “Do you need my help, babe / baby / honey?” At least she’s had enough sense so far to not refer to her manager that way. I was having lunch one day this week and I was crampy and bloated and not in the mood to make conversation with anyone. I had my book with me and was trying to read it when the new girl showed up and started talking to me. I put my book down and began talking to her. She then proceeded to tell me about how she’d had the stomach flu all weekend and she still felt like she would puke at any minute. “I just remembered, I have to go out real quick for an errand,” I said as I excused myself from the room.

Thankfully, our move to the third floor will lead to a quiet working environment again. My boss and I will be sitting well away from the event-related people of our department. So while the working environment is a bit louder / annoying then I’d like it to be, my job itself is still going great. I couldn’t be happier in that regard.

I start my Photoshop class tomorrow night. I am tres excited. My hope is that it will be free of newbs so that I can actually learn something new. I want to walk away from this course feeling like I’ve taken in new knowledge, not just brushed over things I already know.

It looks like the Mrs. is just about ready. Have a great Sunday y’all.