The Streetcar Chronicles

I thought it was pretty fitting that I got this e-mail today that reminded me I shouldn’t really complain about my job.

The Subject: Repeat After Me

Body: Repeat after me, I Will not complain about my job ever again:

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Couldn’t help myself….

to tell you’re grown up:

1. Your houseplants are alive and you can’t smoke any of them.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 am is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
5. You hear your favourite song in an elevator.
6. You watch the weather channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of “hook up” and “break up.”
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as “Dressed up.”
10. You’re the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won’t turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12. You don’t know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog science diet instead of McDonald’s leftovers.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You take naps.
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 am would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer “pretty good shit.”
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
22. “I just can’t drink the way I used to” replaces “I’m never going to drink that much again.”
23. 90% of the time you spend in front of the computer is for real work.
24. You drink at home before going to a bar to save money.
25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking, “what the hell happened?”

Except for number 12 (I’ve never known what time Taco Bell closed), pretty much everything on that list applies. I also don’t watch the weather channel – I just have the site bookmarked.

Yep, I’m grown up.

Unable to find anything worth watching on TV last night, S stopped channel surfing after getting to the retro music video channel. I was blogging and not really paying attention to what was on and she was about to start a new book.

We were both pulled away from what we were doing when this little gem came on:

The first matter of confusion for us was trying to figure out the role of the woman in the video. Was she supposed to be someone’s girlfriend? Was she in the band? We had to let the video play on to solve that mystery.

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I just had a look at my tweet from this morning and it made me laugh so I thought I’d share it here*. Why should the folks following me be the only ones to share in the brilliance that I have first thing in the morning?

The girl at Tim Horton’s took my coffee order & gave me a free side of “go fuck yourself.” Who shit in your cornflakes this morning, honey?

Who knew I could squeeze that much funny in 140 characters?

*I’m sure it’s not that funny at all, but I’m tired so anything would probably make me laugh right now.