For the first time in almost two years, M came over to the house for a visit last Saturday. I had actually seen her in April after she kept emailing asking when we’d hang out.

A lot has changed with M since the last time she was over. She and her boyfriend D broke up. Apparently, moving to the small city was the beginning of the end for them. He began to complain about the commute and how he felt isolated from his friends. That wasn’t really fair considering he knew when he decided to move that it’d be a longer commute to work and he likely wouldn’t be seeing his friends as often.

Upon returning to Toronto, things continued to go badly; M and D were fighting a lot. In October, they each moved into separate apartments, thinking that time apart would help.

By Christmas, M was feeling like she was ready to put the relationship to bed. But then D got in touch saying he wanted to give it another try because being apart over the holidays made him realize how much he wanted them to work it out.

This back and forth continued until March when D finally broke it off – over the phone. He said that it was too hard, that things had changed too much. He didn’t even bother going over to M’s place to say good-bye to her daughter (whose life he’s been in for the last four years). M suspects that he has a new girlfriend which is why he’s refused to see M in person.

When I saw M in April, we spent the evening going over the break-up. She was still pretty down about it as it’d only been officially over a few weeks then. I think that deep down, M knew that the break-up was for the best, especially for her daughter. D didn’t like children and he never showed M’s daughter any affection, unless you count yelling as affection. The kid never got to be a kid when he was around, she always had to be quiet and stay out of his way.

That night I was at M’s place, her daughter was bouncing all over the place. She was being silly, happy and really talkative. “She’s so much happier now,” M told me over dinner.

During the visit, I couldn’t help but take in the dump that M was living in. She’s lived in a lot of places, some were nice, others needed some updating but this one was a real shit hole. It smelled like mould, the floors were soft like there was water below them and it was damp down there (it’s a basement apartment.) M said that the winter was a very cold one so she’ll be moving out as soon as her lease is up.

Following that visit in April, M wanted to hang out again, this time at our place. We finally settled on last Saturday. Since she was bringing her daughter, S and I thought we’d suggest an early afternoon visit to make sure that there wouldn’t be a bedtime issue for the kid.

I had planned on barbequing some burgers for us and a hot dog for the kid, but the weather forecast called for rain and lightening. I didn’t want to be caught outside in the midst of a storm, so decided I’d do something else for lunch. What that was I hadn’t the first clue.

S suggested I make some soup for us and a hot dog on the Foreman Grill for the kid. With that in mind, we went off to get some groceries both for ourselves and the visit. At the grocery store, S decided that we could serve wine, cheese and other appetizers (instead of soup) and that would be sufficient.

After unpacking the groceries at home, I jumped in the shower and got ready. Not long after, I was on my way to meeting M and the kid at the streetcar stop. It was a chilly day and the poor kid (who’d worn one of her best dresses to impress me) was freezing.

During the walk, M made mention of wanting to move to our neck of the woods. She then insulted where S and I live as being in “total isolation.” This is going to be a fun visit, I thought.

Upon getting home, S opened up a bottle of wine and I began to set out the cheese and appetizers. M and S sat at the dining table while the kid stayed in the kitchen with me. “Do you do all of this just for her?” the kid asked me pointing at S.

“What do you mean?” I asked her.

“Do you put the food out like this, on these plates?”

“Oh no. This is just because we have guests. When it’s just us, we eat things out of can,” I replied. She rolled her eyes and laughed at me.

When the kid and I joined M and S at the dining table, S made mention that the kid would be having hot dogs for lunch and that we didn’t usually have them because we can’t afford them.

“Then how can you afford this place?” the kid asked. Kids these days, certainly aren’t shy.

The kid had said she was hungry so I set about making her hot dog for her. When I brought it out to her, S’s eyes glazed over. “Oh, that looks delicious,” S said. “Can I have one too?”

“Um, sure.” I asked M if she wanted one too. She asked if there was any other food coming and we informed her we had just planned on having the appetizers. Upon heraring that she decided that she too wanted to have a hot dog. If you can’t beat ‘em, you join ‘em so that’s what I did.

After lunch, things got a bit weird as M started telling a story about two classmates (one male and one female) being over at her place drinking. The female suggested they all lie down in bed together. M began to rant about how she didn’t want to fuck the girl and then censored herself when she realized that the kid was listening.

I figured then would be a good time for the kid and I to play some video games so that M could stay upstairs and continue having some grown-up conversations with S. M got insulted and began telling me that it was natural for kids to be sexual and we shouldn’t make a big deal of things. Yet, she was the one who censored herself while telling a story.

That little bump in the road passed as the kid and I played some Wii and Guitar Hero. When I suggested to the kid that we re-join her mom and S she asked if she had to go home. I told her that she didn’t, we’d just be continuing our visit as a group instead of us playing video games.

The afternoon progressed and we enjoyed some desserts and coffee. With those polished off, we turned our attention back to the wine. The time continued to pass and M began to wax philosophical, much like she had the last time she visited.

When it approached dinner time, S and I decided we’d order some pizza as the kid was hungry. Even though we’d had pizza the night before, it was really the best option as it would’ve taken too long to make soup.

While we waited for dinner to arrive, more wine was consumed. “Why are you guys monogamous?!” M wanted to know. That topic got her talking about how she hadn’t wanted to be monogamous with D, but he insisted. She then began talking about how lousy he was in bed.

We were on our third bottle of wine when dinner arrived. By then, we had the kid watching The Littlest Hobo (and then Charlie’s Angels) on my laptop on the couch.

We were all feeling okay and not too drunk. And then I went and ruined it for myself by rushing through the last few glasses at the end of the night. Later on, when we went to bed, I had to get up and to be sick because I was on the magical spinning room ride when I closed my eyes.

Just after ten, I walked M and the kid to the streetcar stop – much to the disappointment of the kid who had hoped they could sleep over.

S and I had hoped for a quick visit, but it ended up lasting eight hours. M and S went out for cigarettes throughout the visit but S told me there wasn’t any weirdness like the last time M was over. The only weirdness came when the commie bitches walked by.

I thanked S for her patience and for taking one for the team whenever I was busy occupying the kid. I know M would like to get together again soon, but I’d feel more comfortable if we spaced the visits out a bit. Time spent with M requires a lot of energy (and patience) as she goes on about philosophy and all of her theories.

I know she’d like to get together later this month to watch a soccer game, but it happens to be during the G20. I think I’ll just tell her to come over to watch the game as I have no intention of leaving the house during the summit.

We’ll see how it goes.

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