Escobar the Junk Guy

Our Saturday got off to an interesting start. We were expecting P to arrive just after ten to help us bring the treadmill into the house. I had also booked some junk removal guys to come from 12-2 to take away the old sectional couch from the spare bedroom so we could proceed with our plans for the room.

Just before ten, my phone rang. It was the junk guys letting me know that they had a gap in their schedule and if we were home, they could come before noon. I ran it by S and she was fine with them coming by earlier. Minutes later, P arrived and began asking questions about the treadmill. “Its 300 pounds?!” she exclaimed when S told her how much it weighed. P began asking us additional questions:

Did we have a rolling cart?
No

Did we have any sort of belts to strap to the box?
No

Were we going to struggle bringing the box into the house and up the stairs?
You betcha.

P and S had some toast and then S brought the truck around to the front of the house. Seconds after she went out back, the junk guys pulled up. The guy who came to the door seemed easy going as he joked about how his colleague was in the truck making long-distance calls. I led him upstairs and showed him the sectional. “That’s it?” he asked.

“Yep,” I replied. I explained how we would’ve sold it on Craigslist had the cat not peed on it.

The junk guy scrunched his face when I mentioned the cat pee. He quoted the price and we began to walk back downstairs. Just then, the wheels in my head started spinning. Here we had two strong guys in the house moving an awkward sectional out. Maybe they’d be open to bringing in a treadmill? I ran the idea by S when I got downstairs and she agreed that it was a good plan.

“Hey, would you guys be willing to help us bring a treadmill in from our truck?” S asked.

“Oh, those are heavy,” he said, “but we’ll do it.”

“It’s not that heavy, it’s a small one,” S replied. The junk guy smirked and made a comment about how everyone always said that as he went out to their truck.

A few minutes later, both guys were at our door. The smaller one, who we’ll call Chris, introduced himself. “Damn, I didn’t introduce myself and now the moment is ruined,” the taller guy said. “Now I have to come up with a cool name…I know, you can call me Escobar.”

“Escobar’s a pretty lame name,” P said.

“It’s actually my last name,” he replied.

“Oh,” P said, a bit embarrassed.

Chris and Escobar went upstairs to get started on the job. “It’s right this way,” Escobar said, “there’s a secret door to travel through and then Narnia…” The three of us heard him and were cracking up. We all agreed that Escobar was funny and cute. Chris was cute too, but P had her sights set on Escobar. The only problem? She’d come over straight from the gym and didn’t feel “fresh” enough to say/do anything to Escobar.

We continued to laugh as Escobar made more jokes. While bringing one piece of the sectional down the stairs he announced, “this is doing wonders for my back.” As they positioned the sectional to make it easier to bring downstairs, Escobar then had it leaning against his face. “Look, I’m using my face,” he said.

The guys went out to the truck and Escobar slammed his thumb against a column on the porch. “It’s okay! I’ve got a sewing kit in the truck, I’ll sew it back on,” he said. S and I encouraged P to talk to Escobar and to find out his real name but she thought she was too grimy.

Getting the other piece of the sectional out went just as smoothly as the first and then the guys brought in the treadmill. What they did in five minutes, would’ve taken us an hour or more. I was so happy seeing them carry that box up the stairs and knowing that there wouldn’t be any crushed fingers or rage incidents.

Escobar and Chris then went out to the truck to write out an invoice. When they came inside, we gabbed and joked around some more. “What’s going on here, you guys writing a book?” Escobar asked noting our two laptops.

“We couldn’t possibly tell you,” S said. “It’s too top secret.” To thank them for their help with the treadmill, we gave them each a tip in addition to the job quote.

As we talked, I asked Escobar what his real name was. He told us Escobar was neither his first or last name. P was relieved to hear that and she let him know that she’d been embarrassed about commenting on it.

After the money was exchanged, the guys just stood around. They definitely hung around longer than was necessary. I think they were trying to figure out what the situation was. Who were these three women? Were they roommates? Although, P had said that she didn’t live here and she’d mentioned using them to help her move an old entertainment unit.

I really hoped P would’ve said something to Escobar. It was obvious she thought he was cute and funny. Maybe when she calls to get her entertainment unit moved, she’ll ask for Escobar and Chris. P finished up the tea she was having and then was on her way home.

With the room cleared of the sectional, S and I unpacked the treadmill and set it up. Thankfully, it doesn’t require any assembly, it just folds up. It requires some lubrication that we’re still trying to figure out, but we’re hoping it’ll be functional soon.