Speaking of Jerks…
It seems that being a jerk is in style these days. The latest people disappointing me with their asinine behaviour? S’s friends, especially P. I’ve mentioned on here before that S’s birthday is on Christmas day. I always try to do what I can to make sure that she feels like her birthday is being celebrated and not just Christmas. I always wish her a happy birthday before a Merry Christmas and I have her open her birthday present first. My expectation is that her friends, especially her best friend would put in some effort to recognize her birthday.
Each year, it’s the same old story, birthday celebrations get lumped in with Christmas get-togethers. Two of S’s friends, Darla and Cathy also have their birthdays in December. Over time, the three birthday celebrations have been grouped together. This really irks me because S puts in the effort when it comes to her friend’s birthdays. She’ll initiate the plans, she’ll suggest places to go for dinner, etc. Come December, her friends totally forget that it’s her birthday too.
A few weeks ago, K wrote P, S and I inviting us over to her place for a Christmas get-together sometime between Christmas and New Year’s. I wrote back to her and P and asked if they had any plans to take S out to dinner or brunch to celebrate her birthday. K replied that we could move the get-together to the 26th and P promptly added that she would be out of town then. And that’s all I’ve heard from them since. Following up on my question, K sent S a text asking when she’d like to get-together to celebrate. They threw around some dates, but again, nothing firm has been planned.
S has gotten used to her birthday being disregarded but it really irks me to see her friends totally blow her off like this. P has been such a miserable twat this year, the least she could do to thank her best friend for her patience and friendship would be to treat her to a dinner that she planned on her own. S isn’t expecting presents and elaborate plans, but the simple recognition that her birthday is a special day too would be really nice.
This weekend, we learned that not all of our friends are inconsiderate. Christine wrote me late last week suggesting we get together for dinner. Over the course of the e-mail exchange, she made it clear that she and T would be buying dinner since they wanted to treat S for her birthday. I just about fell out of my chair. Did my eyes deceive me? Had I misread Christine’s words? Was someone actually being proactive and initiating plans? Christine and T were both of the opinion that its’ not S’s fault she was born on Christmas day.
As it turned out, T was sick on Saturday night and unable to join us. Not wanting to break her plans to treat S to a nice dinner, Christine travelled across the city on the streetcar by herself on a Saturday night. S didn’t really understand why Christine was making the effort to come without T, surely we could reschedule for another night. Only I knew that she was intent on coming because she wanted to have a nice dinner with S before her birthday.
As it usually the case when hanging out with Christine, we had a fun night out. We tried out a new place in the neighbourhood that neither S nor I had been to yet. The place was hopping and the food was an interesting take on Asian fusion. When the bill came, Christine insisted on paying and when S tried to refuse, I let her know that it was all pre-arranged. “We’re very fond of you,” Christine said. “It’s not your fault you share the same birthday as Jesus.”
I know it meant a lot to S that Christine put in some effort for her birthday. She (Christine) could have easily asked to postpone the evening after T came down with a bug. She didn’t though, she showed what it means to have a good friend.
I know that P and S have a lot of history as friends but P’s actions this last year have really made me question what value (if any) her friendship brings to S’s life. Most of the time, she’s getting on S’s nerves with her wishy-washy ways and frustrating approach to things. My hope is that she comes through and does something nice for her best friend’s birthday. I won’t hold my breath.
Related posts:
Both comments and trackbacks are currently closed.
6 Comments
Ah, shucks.
OK, honestly, I got a little confused. But, you can be thankful that you aren’t counting on *me* to celebrate a birthday. I don’t even celebrate my nephew’s birthday.
I’d say that maybe you are being a little too sensitive, but I don’t think I’m the right person to speak on this. Birthdays suck.
@Syd, @Sage, Ok, let’s put it another way. Forget about birthdays, let’s say that your GF had a friend who was being a miserable twat and no matter what your GF said or did, the friend was a total flake about everything.
That shit would grate on your nerves too, right?
yeah!! what Syd said…
Anyone who has a birthday on a holiday gets shortchanged.
Your friend P sounds like a giant pain in the arse, frankly. That whole ridiculous drama at the cabin this summer…. sheesh! Sometimes it’s ok to let a relationship go. Especially one that offers nothing but aggravation.
I don’t know that I’d have as much patience for P as S has shown. I’ve cut loose some friends who were becoming more aggravating than it was worth and I can’t say the loss of the friendship has had much effect on me.