Dear…
Dear Vortex;
Perhaps it’s time we cleared things up. You and I are not friends; we were never really friends and the more time I’ve spent with you, the clearer it is you and I are never going to be friends. What does that makes us? Co-workers. And you know what co-workers do? They knock before coming into each other’s offices and work stations. They talk about the work they’re contributing to a project and leave it at that. Do you know what co-workers don’t do?
They don’t sneak up on someone and then stand around reading what’s on the person’s screen. They don’t pop up every ten minutes with mundane questions about why their cell phone is dropping calls. Especially when one person is working to meet a deadline. Most importantly, co-workers don’t share the intimate details of their private lives. When Natalie, Charlie and I go on our coffee run do you hear any of us talk about the details of what happens in our bedrooms? No, so what makes you think we want to hear about what happens in yours?
I’m very happy that you’ve found someone to put up with your Kermit the Frog voice and the fact that you end each sentence with the words “dude” or “that’s retarded.” There are boundaries when working with people. Try to stick to them, ok, dude?
***
Dear Larry,
I understand that you don’t like it when I get pulled onto other projects and don’t get to spend all of my time on items you feel are priority. But don’t get pissy and take your annoyance out on me. If you don’t like the fact that I’m working on something for Mr. G, then take it up with him. Don’t play big-bad-manager by getting me to interrupt what I’m working on for him to do something completely irrelevant for you. It’s especially annoying when you disguise it as something that’s urgent. The last I checked, updating two links on a web page that’s totally outdated and gets very little traffic is not considered urgent. The next time you’ve got a bone to pick with Mr. G, bring it up with him; don’t force me to work through my lunch because things aren’t going your way.
While I’m writing, can I also ask that you not open my desk drawers and look through the papers and items on my desk? I don’t keep anything of a personal nature on my desk or in the drawers, but that doesn’t mean I’m cool with you making yourself at home while in my work station. I know we get along well and you probably feel comfortable enough to peek around; but it’s a bit disconcerting to see you open my desk drawers. Keep it up and I’ll be sure to add some raunchy lesbian magazines to my drawers. That’ll learn ya.
***
Dear Office Services,
I’d like you to add a door to my work station, oh and can you replace my current walls with higher ones? And a sign for the door that says, “no dumbasses allowed” would be much appreciated too.
Kthxbai!
Related posts:
Both comments and trackbacks are currently closed.
5 Comments
You may not care to know what happens in Vortex’s bedroom but I am very curious now. You can’t just dangle that kind of tidbit. Does she dress up in costumes — cause that’s not so weird, really.
Does she dress up in costumes
Worse! She sleeps with men! And is proud of it. Shocking, I know.
If I were you I would put tampons in your desk drawers. When the auditors come through our offices I load my drawers up with them..they open them a little and hurry and close them.
Coworkers and managers can be so problematical. Some times we get lucky, sometimes we suffer.
Sage — Ha! Good strategy!
LOL at Christine!!
Yeah, what kind of shit is he telling?
Love the tampon idea, Sage.