Cock Robin

Unable to find anything worth watching on TV last night, S stopped channel surfing after getting to the retro music video channel. I was blogging and not really paying attention to what was on and she was about to start a new book.

We were both pulled away from what we were doing when this little gem came on:

The first matter of confusion for us was trying to figure out the role of the woman in the video. Was she supposed to be someone’s girlfriend? Was she in the band? We had to let the video play on to solve that mystery.

Forty-four seconds into the video, we were introduced to the lead singer who S immediately pegged as a homo. “Oh, he’s so gay,” she chimed.

Laugher ensued at the one minute mark when the camera was focused on the lead singer’s efforts through the chorus. “Look! He’s either shitting himself or trying to bust out of those jeans that are entirely too tight!” S said through fits of giggles. At the 1:23 mark, it was pretty clear that the lead singer was indeed shitting himself.

Throughout, the woman received a fair bit of time in front of the camera, either dancing, walking around or running from one end of the porch to the other. The mystery continued.

S’s mockery hit it’s full stride between the 2:32 and 2:46 marks when the lead singer was singing and dancing on a rock. “Oh look me, I’m going to dance because my pants are too tight. Ooooh yeah, smack my ass!!” By this time, I had caught a case of the giggles too.

From 3:03 to 3:08, the drummer gets his five seconds of air time. Try as we might, S and I can’t stop laughing as he looks like a bigger, dumber version of Napolean Dynamite.

The comment of the night came at 3:10 when the camera showed the woman sitting alone on top of one of the rock’s. S’s quickly said, “I was told there’d be cock, but there isn’t any. If there is, they’re only sharing it amongst themselves.”

I missed the rest of the video as I was too busy laughing my ass off. In watching it again on YouTube, it seems the video went on to show further evidence of the lead singer’s unibrow and alas, the solution to the mystery of the woman. As is shown at the 4:19 mark, she’s a full-fledged member of the band and not just a groupie looking for cock.

I wonder what other gems the ’80′s are holding out on us?