The Streetcar Chronicles

Fellow blogger Syd sent this to me in an e-mail yesterday. It’s pretty damn funny and I don’t think that just because I have the mindset of a 12 year old boy.

Cute dog + fart = funny!

The Brit Awards re-run was on last night. Katy Perry went up to accept an award and S said, “she looks exactly like Zooey Deschanel.”

“Who?” I asked.

“Google her, you’ll see,” S said pointing to the laptop in front of me.

I did an Image search and was blown away by the resemblance:

Zooey Deschanel

Katy Perry

Holy. Shit. Surely, S and I can’t be the only ones to see the resemblance? They look eerily similar, more than just siblings. They could easily pretend to be the other.

Me thinks Katy Perry’s dad has some ’splaining to do…

I’ve never liked the X-Box. I’ve always thought the graphics were sub-par in comparison to the PlayStation consoles and the controllers just seemed a bit ridiculous. Then there’s also the fact that Microsoft charges gamers an additional fee per month for in additon to their regular internet fees. (Sony doesn’t charge for access to the PS3 network. )

An article over on Queerty today gave me more reasons why I will never purchase an X-box. It turns out identifying yourself as a lesbian in your gamer profile on X-box Live is enough to get your account suspended by Microsoft because it’s deemed offensive.

Microsoft has no problem letting underage kids play games like Call of Duty, Halo 3, Grand Theft Auto or Resident Evil. All games that are extremely violent and graphically explicit. Brains and blood splattering across the screen are perfectly acceptable. Allowing users to identify as lesbian or have the word gay in usernames is entirely too offensive.

I can understand if these folks were being harassed by other gamers. Cyber-bullying is commonplace when playing and interacting online. What else can you expect from a bunch of 16 year old boys spending eighteen hours a day playing games? Having Microsoft condone sexually explicit games and interaction on their network but ban people who’s profiles and usernames appear too sexual is hypocrosy at its finest.

I’m going to go hug my PS3 now.

I had a strange dream last night. In it, I died but not right away. I was in a hospital, either on an operating table or just a regular bed (I don’t remember which.) And the doctor declared that I was dead. So he pressed a switch and this grate on the floor opened up and the bed I was on was tipped so that I could slide down thrown the open gate.

When I unceremoniously landed on the level below, I was told by someone there that I wouldn’t technically be dead until I closed my eyes. For the next little while, I struggled to stay awake, not wanting to die, obviously. Only thing was I failed and when I awoke, I was standing naked in a funeral home next to my open casket where my mom was hugging my body.

Needless to say, I woke up just a tiny bit freaked out.

I think I’ll spend this evening doing some research.

One of the biggest adjustments for S and I when we moved to the house from the condo was the garbage system. In the condo, the garbage was easy. Paper and plastic went into our small blue bin which we emptied out downstairs in the garbage room. The remaining garbage just went down the chute whenever we filled the bag.

House living introduced us to the notion of recycling, separating organic material and learning a schedule. Each week, the green (organic) bin goes out. Every other week, the garbage and recycling go out. Learning what goes in what bin and what went out each week took some time. Especially for me since S doesn’t really “do” garbage. When we moved, I often found myself reminding S that particular items no longer went into the regular garbage.

We’ve been here a few months now, and I think I’ve finally got S familiarized with what goes where. But, every so often, I’m faced with what I like to call, “Lazy S.” Lazy S doesn’t really enjoy the thought of putting effort into things so she’ll take whatever shortcuts she can to get things done.

The garbage is a prime example of that. A few weeks ago, we were putting new groceries into the fridge and throwing out older items. S grabbed some bags of sliced bread and threw them into the organic bin. “Baby!” I said, shaking my head.

“What?” she asked knowing full well what I was talking about.

“You have to take the bread out of the bags,” I replied.

“That’s how I recycle,” she said, “if the city doesn’t like it, they can kiss my ass.”

Okay then that was the end of that. Needless to say, I took over throwing things out to ensure they went where they were supposed to.

The other night, we had frozen pizza for dinner and I had some garlic dipping sauce with my slices. The dip came in a small plastic container. While cleaning up from dinner, I was scraping the food into the bin when I noticed S from the corner of my eye with the garlic dip in hand. “What are you doing with that?” I asked.

“Throwing it away!” she said, gleefully. (I think she enjoys the role of Lazy S.)

“Give it here,” I said, indicating I’d empty out the container like we’re supposed to.

S went on her way, I’m pretty sure yelling, “Kittens! Inspired by Kittens!”

Tonight we had tacos for dinner and again, I was scraping the food into the bin when S came around with the nearly full yogurt container.

“You’re not going to throw that whole thing in there, are you?” I asked knowing full well what she would say next.

“I was thinking about it,” she said.

I looked at her, shaking my head.

“What? It’s in the bin, isn’t it?!”

I had to laugh at her logic. True, it was in the bin, just not the way it’s supposed to be. Maybe I’ve become the garbage Nazi but I happen to think we should be mindful of recycling, especially with the organic stuff.

It’s amusing to watch S try to sneak in things she isn’t supposed to and then have her look at me with that, What? I didn’t do anything wrong face. Like a kid getting caught doing something they know they shouldn’t.

I shouldn’t complain though. Lazy S is nicer to have around then Rage S.