I’ve been meaning to follow up to the Girls Who Like Boys post, but have yet to do so. I wonder why, it’s not like I’ve been busy buying a house or anything.

Anyway, when I first posted about the gals I work with, I only described a few of them. Some have left and others have come on so let’s have a wee catch-up shall we?

First, the big news: Miss Vic has left the building – and the country! That’s right, that obnoxious, know-it-all loudmouth has fled to Dubai. Apparently, she and her boyfriend think they are going to strike it rich over there so off they went. Her in-laws have been living there for a few years so they figured they’d try their luck as well.

In her last few weeks at work, she did little more than answer personal e-mail and make personal phone calls. After she left, it was discovered that she had spent exuberant amounts on business class flights and hotel stays for her and her boyfriend on the company’s tab. Of course, this was only found out after her boss had written her a decent reference letter. If it was one thing that girl knew how to do, it was how to get away with shit.

During her last few days she came in one morning flaunting the ring on her finger. She had apparently told her boyfriend that she would not “end up like Goldie Hawn.” She didn’t want to be a girlfriend forever, she wanted a ring, damn it! Plus, she wanted to ensure that he was committed to her before she packed up everything and traveled across the world with him. Silly girl seems to think a ring on her finger will keep him inline while overseas. At some point, that boy is going to see that she’s a crazy-ass bitch and will drop her off in the middle of the desert in the dark of night.

Next we have the rest of the gals:

Marissa: Marissa works on the same team as Tanner and at the time of her hire, she too was engaged to be married. She is your typical event planner, a bit lite on the brains and full of attitude. Fate must have been on my side for once because Marissa started around the same time that we moved to our new floor, where I sit very far away. This spared me from having to hear all of the wedding talk going on over on the other side of the building. (High five, Fate!)

Now would probably be a good time to share that both Tanner and Marissa suffer from Emitophobia – a fear of vomiting. Marissa lives out in the ‘burbs but insists on driving in instead of taking the GO train because the one time she did take the train she thought a guy on there was going to puke. That sent her into such a bad panic attack that she’s refused to take the train since and continues to drive. On days where it snows, it probably takes her an hour or more each way whereas the train would be about 30 minutes.

Marie: Marie is a company veteran but has only been in our department a few years. She’s very passive and speaks calmly. I don’t think I’ve ever witnessed her get angry or excited. She’s a hard worker though, as I’ve seen her put in a lot of overtime and care into what she does. She’s all about doing things right and professionally. Unfortunately for her, she and Harry had to deal with the repercussions of all the shit Miss Vic fucked up.

Speaking of Harry, I get along better with her these days. Now that we’re not cubicle neighbours and I only see her in small doses, all’s good in the neighbourhood. Although, she’s the kind of girl who wears her emotions on her sleeve and will spill the beans to whoever’s around. I’ve had the unfortunate luck of being one of those people. I once ran into her in the bathroom and I could tell she’d been crying so I asked if she was okay. Big mistake.

She went blubbering on about how she wanted to break up with her boyfriend and they hadn’t had sex in six months and I was standing there thinking Stop! Stop! Stop! My poor gay ears can’t handle this information!! She’s a nice girl, I just need to make sure I never catch her when she’s in a “sharing” mood.

Who else?

There’s Charlie, a department veteran who works with Tanner and Marissa. Charlie’s in her 40s which makes her one of the older event gals in the department. She’s an Irish import who still has the accent and is quick to tell you she thinks Tanner and Marissa’s work ethic is rubbish. She hates how shallow they are and how they have to spend a fair bit of time throughout the day adjusting their lip gloss and eye liner. Side note: all three gals report to Speakerphone Asshole.

Stephanie: Stephanie is Miss Vic’s replacement and she seems about as smart as George W. Bush. She has this very distant look to her like she’s lost in thought which I know can’t be what’s happening because she doesn’t have any thoughts. I tried to engage her in conversation a few times when she first started but I ended up getting annoyed at the I’m a princess attitude so I quickly ended my efforts to get to know her. And wouldn’t you know? Stephanie’s engaged to be married. By her second day, her desk was covered with pictures of her and her fiancé. What is with all of these marriages? Why are all of these young girls rushing to get hitched? Why not live in sin like the rest of us? I do wonder though, is that marriage stuff catching? I mean, will breathing the same air as those gals make me want to get married and prattle on and on about it to anyone within ear shot? Oh god, the horror!

Tuesday: Tuesday started at the company around the same time I did, but she and I have never sat in the same vicinity so I don’t know much about her. There have been a few times where several gals have been engaged in conversation and Tuesday has shared some nuggets of information. Through these conversations and the more traditional way of finding stuff out in an office – the grape vine – I’ve learned that Tuesday is divorced and living with her parents and likes to let men that she meets online fly her to destinations of her choice.

As I’m sure you’ve been able to gather, our department is pretty big. I haven’t even gotten to writing about the two levels of managers. All of the different personalities make for some interesting interactions. But at the end of the day all that matters is that I’m on the side of the floor safely away from all of the bitchy, wedding obsessed drama queens.

Imagine the bitching I’d be doing on this blog otherwise.

Related posts:

  1. Girls Who Like Boys
  2. Baby Mania
  3. Out of the Office
  4. Oh, the drama
  5. Office Revamp, Redux
  6. Excel Entitlement
  7. Muster
  8. Friday Drabbles
  9. Instant Disappointment, Redux
  10. Office Revamp