“Why didn’t you blog about the conversations that were had last night?” S asked me after reading this post.

“I wasn’t quite sure how much detail I should go into,” I replied.

“They were the most interesting part of the evening,” she eagerly replied.

So, here goes:

On their first trip outside for a cigarette, M commented to S that she thought perhaps she may be gay. Not sure where that nugget of information came from, S tried her best to stay clear of continuing the conversation. M continued by asking S when she knew she was gay and about her experiences in dating men.

That last tidbit immediately rings warning bells for me. It’s been my experience that when someone asks you when you knew you were gay and how you went about dealing with it, they’re questioning their own sexuality. In M’s case, this isn’t really all that surprising. She used to tell me all the time that she was open to the gay thing. Of course, this was only true when she was single. Whenever she was dating a guy, she was straighter than Sarah Palin.

She’s been with her boyfriend D for three years now and so this conversation with S really did come out of nowhere. She also made mention to S that it is easy being with D because he’s so sensitive and not too manly.

While we were all inside having the conversation about people who transition from one gender to another, M kept making reference to “being a strong woman and strapping it on if [she] wanted to.” The entire evening, M was sitting directly across the table from S and there was a lot of staring done on M’s part.

Why M is talking to S about these things and not me is what I don’t understand. She and I used to talk about this stuff all the time back in the days where we hung out more with each other then we did anyone else. While retelling the story at dinner last night with K and P, they were both of the opinion that M was hitting on S.

The idea did cross my mind and while I should be really angry, I’m only a bit upset. I know that I have absolutely no reason to worry that S would cheat – let alone with M. But it’s M’s way of approaching S about this stuff that grates on my nerves.

I understand what it’s like to be afraid to admit that you may be gay and be different from what your family and friends expect of you. Cornering your good friend’s girlfriend while your boyfriend is in the other room is not the way to go about it.

With M’s move out of the city, I know that we won’t be seeing much of each other. But her asking S for her e-mail address leads me to believe that this won’t drop here, she’ll continue to badger S with her questions and philosophical theories.

Should I say something to her about this? Should I just leave it be? I don’t think it’s fair that S be stuck with my friend’s misguided search for her true self, even if there is no crush. If she wants someone to talk to, it should be me.

Why does M always make everything so complicated?

Related posts:

  1. Wine, Philosophy, Gender Identity and More Wine
  2. What’s Your Dog’s Name?
  3. Super Lesbionic
  4. Our First Real Dinner Party
  5. P-p-p-poker Face
  6. How I Met S
  7. Settling In
  8. “How serendipitous”