Zany S

17 Nov

I’ve written in this blog before about S’s zany antics. There’s her superhuman abilities to guess what people’s stories are, her ability to change a conversation mid-way through a sentence and we all know how she likes to grocery shop when she’s hungry.

This weekend, the zaniness played on. First, there was the farting in front of guests. “Did you fart earlier?” I whispered to her in the kitchen while we tidied up after dinner.

“Yes!” she exclaimed and immediately began laughing. I couldn’t help it, her laugh was infectious and I too began laughing. There we were, two grown women giggling to ourselves in our kitchen over farts.

Yesterday, we headed out to Homo Depot in search of some items we needed for the house. While out, S noticed that a house wares store was having a going out of business sale. “Wouldn’t it be funny if they weren’t really going out of business and they were just like ‘ha ha, fooled you bitches!’” That’s my baby, ever the optimist.

We wandered through the store and S’s eye was eventually drawn to a wine rack. She held the box in her hands and after we agreed to buy it, I asked if she’d like me to carry the box. “Yes please!” she said, a big grin spreading across her face. “It’s heavy!” That’s my baby, always eager to share the load.

We continued on our way through the store and sure enough, S filled up both hands with several items. She came across some ‘70’s style pillows that she liked. She started off with just two but quickly announced, “I need to get four!” Thankfully, we didn’t have a cart so we had to call it quits once we couldn’t carry anymore things. (Side note: our couch is now drowning in pillows.)

We picked up some food for Sophie-Soph and S let me know she needed corn starch to make gravy to go with dinner. We stopped in at a grocery store and I figured I’d go in, grab the corn starch and we’d be on our way home. Not so much, S decided she’d come in too.

Within seconds of being in the store, S was lured by Corn Pops. Her eyes were alight with glee as she held the box to her chest. We walked up and down the aisles and S kept seeing things she wanted. I should add, we hadn’t had lunch and S was totally shopping on impulse.

While in the bakery section, S noticed some sweet cakes on the Weight Watchers rack. “What are these doing on the Weight Watchers rack? It kind of defeats the point, doesn’t it?!” I couldn’t help but laugh as we continued on our journey.

“Oooh, I haven’t had corn twists in awhile, I’m getting that,” she said grabbing a bag of the snacks. “You’d better get a basket, I’m going to want more stuff!” Off I went to grab a basket. When I found S, she had yet another craptastic item in her hands.

“Oh lord,” I groaned.

“What?” she replied. “I want it!”

On we went and sure enough, our basket quickly filled. While passing the baked goods section (where we picked up the corn starch, the one item we needed) I noticed a box of brownie mix. “Want me to make brownies?” I asked.

“Yes!” the words were barely out of my mouth before she replied.

While in the frozen goods section, we decided to get some Soy Vanilla ice cream. “Ooooh, Butterscotch!” she swooned as she made her discovery.

“I don’t really like Butterscotch,” I replied.

“Okay, let’s get both!” That’s my baby, always getting more than enough.

While in line at the check-out, we looked down at our items on the conveyor belt. We realized how redneckish we must have looked to the cashier and the other customers. We didn’t have a single fruit, vegetable or healthy product in the mix. I could have sworn there was snickering as we left.

A quick trip to Homo Depot turned into an afternoon filled with S’s wacky antics. She may be a bit off the wall and silly, but she’s my baby.